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TW: Poppers

from Wonder by Flower Crown Me A Queen

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about

Tw: Sexual Assault

This song is about a sexual assault that I experienced when I was 19. I was having a panic attack one night because I was exposed to a traumatic trigger and I wrote this song to cope, and it actually helped bring me out of that. It's pure catharsis, and I'm sorry if it's one you can't listen to it. I understand.

Poppers, the little inhalants in the tiny bottles, are heavily associated with that experience for me. I'm getting better at keeping myself grounded and present whenever I encounter them in spaces like shows or clubs or even just hanging around with my partners. This song also embodies something I've been thinking about for a while now, how everyone has different triggers, and you may not always know what someone's triggers are. It's important to keep in mind that people are affected by trauma in different ways, and that what may not be a trigger for you, can definitely be for someone else, and vice versa. Be kind to one another. We all have so much shit we gotta deal with, and dismissal of trauma based on unique triggers shouldn't be part of it, especially from people you trust.

I love you. It's going to be okay.

lyrics

I hate that I still think about you
I hate that I can’t get you out of my head
I hate that it’s been four fucking years
And I hate that you’re not fucking dead

You’re the one who did everything
So why am I stuck with all the pain
I don’t want to see your fucking face
Why do I see your fucking face
It’s not fucking fair what happened to me
It’s not fucking fair that you got off scot free
If I knew where you lived you’d be already dead
Bleeding out on that fucking bed

That fucking night replays in her mind
In fucking 4K every detail so fine
Don’t mention that word, and don’t try to top her
No one makes trigger warnings for poppers

You’re the one who did everything
So why am I stuck with all the pain
I don’t want to see your fucking face
Why do I see your fucking face
It’s not fucking fair what happened to me
It’s not fucking fair that you got off scot free
If I knew where you lived you’d be already dead
Bleeding out on that fucking bed

credits

from Wonder, released March 20, 2020

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Flower Crown Me A Queen Denver, Colorado

Hi we're a couple of queerdos that write songs that are punk and folk and everywhere in between. Fuzzed out violins, fast paced guitars, singing our hearts out. Learning to wield hope like a baseball bat <3

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